‘Tude

by Cheryl, posted on October 6th, 2010 in Parenting

Honestly, Blogowebz, I don’t know what to do with this child.

I love her. I do.

But sometimes?

Sometimes, she makes it really, really difficult.

It’s the back-talk. The bad attitude.

She is Sassy McSassypants.

She told me a couple weeks ago she did not like school. Why? Because they have RULES!

So you can imagine how she feels about living HERE. What with all our pesky rules about changing your underwear every day and brushing your teeth and not pinching your brother and, you know, listening to your parents.

The other night I sent her to her room at 6:30 and told her she could come out – when she woke up the next morning.

There was lots of screaming and crying and carrying on. But she was awfully cute today when I came back from my run and found her snuggled in our bed.

“Can I come out now, Mommy?” she said.

The worst part, the absolute most awful truth, is that I know I’m failing as a parent. I mean, she’s a bright, funny, beautiful little girl – who is angry a lot.

And I don’t know how to make her kinder. More gentle.

More her.

I am sad. But I’m also determined.

Is there anything we try harder at than being a good parent?

Because there is nothing in this world more difficult.

_________________________________________________

Sports are supposed to be a good outlet for all the “energy,” right? So here’s the latest highlight from Sage. Unfortunately we don’t have on film the part where she pouted and yelled at us because we clapped when the other team scored.

One of her five goals Saturday.

Tags: Sage, sassy, soccer

Comments

54 Responses to “‘Tude”

Joanna Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 10:11 am

Wow, it sounds like you just described my DD to a tee. She is 9 now and her attitude is improving more every day, but not too long ago she was a super sassy, stubborn, angry -all-the-time little girl. It’s hard to know what to do as a parent, but sometimes we just have to let them get it out of their systems. It does get better! Nice goal!
Joanna recently posted..Girl vs Grill

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 1:11 pm
It gets better? I’m terrified it’s going to get WORSE once those hormones kick in!

[Reply]
Jill Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 10:11 am

Ugh! I know exactly how you feel. Blake has some major rage issues and honestly mean to us most of the time.

But darn it! They are so stinkin’ cute!
Jill recently posted..Just watch

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Well, of course the cuteness is what keeps us from throwing them out of the window and telling them not to come back til they can be nice!

[Reply]
Shell Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 10:18 am

I think she and my oldest would get along well. Or maybe only one would be left standing.

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Maybe we could put them in a padded room and yell “GO!” See if they can out-attitude each other..

[Reply]
Kelli Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 10:28 am

Oh, I feel you. We are at a loss as to what to do. And they are both angels at school away from us, so apparently, they just think they can treat mom and dad like crap. If you find some magic bullet, please share!

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Yes, I’m quite sure she behaves very nicely at school!

[Reply]
Sara Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 11:10 am

Oh Sassypants. I’m seeing that already in Pie and am not just a little afraid of the years to come. At 8 months she is already an incredibly strong-willed little thing. I’ll have to remember the sports tip…
Sara recently posted..Monday Minute 10-4

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:40 pm
Start her now! Start her now! lol

[Reply]
Alexandra Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 11:12 am

Oh, yeah, I got me one of those, too. He’s doing things his teenge bros ain’t doing yet…
Alexandra recently posted..Helping A Sister Out Guest Post at On The Verge

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
Can it be more scary? I think not!

[Reply]
Salt Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 11:34 am

I think my mother would tell you that I was the exact same way when I was her age. And I turned out okay. (I guess.) I’m sorry she’s trying your patience though.
Salt recently posted..I’m featured on Fantabulously Frugal!

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
My mother also *might* say the same thing..

[Reply]
Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 11:35 am

I’m cracking up that she got mad when you cheered the other team.

Child A had major anger issues when he was little which we dealt with by role playing, but…this sounds different.

Raging willfulness!

That’s a different kettle of monkeys.
Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points recently posted..Ask Not-Martha- Your Points Questions Answered

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Why are monkeys in the kettle? I mean, lobsters, fine, but monkeys? Can you imagine the screaming once that water starts boiling??

[Reply]
Jennifer K Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 12:16 pm

This must be a 4/5 year old thing because we have the SAME problem with Hayden! The sassing and back-talk is rampant, and we cannot stand it. I’ve ordered books to help deal with this issue, yet… I haven’t read them.

The other day, we were coming back from Legoland and he was having an attitude problem. We told him to not talk to us that way, etc. (same old stuff) and then he screamed back at my husband.

“I LOVE YOU”

We actually had to have him REPEAT what he said to us because it was so angry sounding that it almost was like he said “I HATE YOU.” Seriously, who the heck screams I love you like that? Oh, wait… my son… because he’s an angry sort of lover these days.
Jennifer K recently posted..OCFA Fire Station Open Houses – Saturday- October 2nd 9a-2p

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:43 pm
That’s hysterical. An angry lover, indeed!

[Reply]
Lynsey Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 12:52 pm

Well, looks like it is an epidemic. ALL of my kids have bad attitudes, and are very angry most of the time. I guess you can’t give up, can you?

If you figure out the answer let me know.

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m WAY too stubborn to give up..

[Reply]
Betsy Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I don’t think you can “make” kids be gentler. You can only lead by example and keep on loving ‘em up.

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Darn it. I was hoping there was a magic pill!

[Reply]
Jen Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Sounds like she is going to be a wild one. Then again maybe she will get it out of her system before the teen years hit. Either way, you better hold on.
Jen recently posted..Kindergarten Social Drama

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Please don’t mention the teen years. Please?

[Reply]
zeemaid Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 1:26 pm

It’s so nice to know that I’m not alone, I mean I’m know I’m not alone but usually all people talk about is how well behaved and perfect their kids are. My kid behaves a lot like yours and it drives us crazy and I struggle too with feeling like I’ve failed like a parent. I really think though that because we’re actually aware of our mistakes and are sincerely trying to do better that we’ll get through it in the long run with pretty amazing kids!
zeemaid recently posted..Family Photos

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
I sincerely hope so! And stick around here – you’ll hear all about my non-perfect kids! lol

[Reply]
Nichole Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 2:04 pm

My first inclination is to tell you that this too shall pass.
But I do realize that’s not very helpful.

So, instead, I’ll tell you what we do with Katie.
When she speaks to either of with any hint of sass, we talk to her about how it makes us feel. We take the focus off what she’s doing wrong and we tell her that it makes us sad and hurt. This is working…for now.

The one thing that we don’t do is show her that we are angry. Getting angry with her would only show her that she has power in the situation.

I also go in the pantry and hide sometimes.

Sage is so damn cute, by the way.

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
We’ve tried the talking. Unfortunately she has a smart-ass answer for everything.

Perhaps I need a bigger pantry?

[Reply]
Anne Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Oh my goodness, your post made me laugh! You describe my six-year-old daughter! My daughter has major “tude.” Hers comes complete with punching and hitting! She was angel until she went to preschool and it’s all sassy talkback and “nos” since then. She does have the ability to be the perfect kid. Unfortunately for me this is only in school! You’re not failing as a parent. Keep up with the rules. Limit setting will serve both of you in the long run even though it’s a battle now.

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:54 pm
I guess they use up all their “good” energy at school so when they come home they need to “unwind.” She was sent to her room for being rude 5 minutes after arriving home from school today.

Ugh.

[Reply]
liz Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:08 pm

she truly has some mad soccer skillz! and her sassy mcsassypants schtick reminds me so much of Maddie (we call it “madditude”). i think we’re in for it when maddie gets older.
liz recently posted..Keeping It In The Family

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Madditude. Love it. I’m sure you don’t love it so much..

[Reply]
Aging Mommy Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:23 pm

She is a soccer queen! I am already seeing the sassy attitude creeping in with my daughter, who now delivers every no with a loud indignant shout. It feels some says like a non-stop battle of wills, down to the very simplest of things.

So if you find a solution do let me know
Aging Mommy recently posted..A Safe Bet

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Every day, every MOMENT feels like a battle sometimes. I’m sure M is just testing her boundaries. It’s shocking, isn’t it, hearing that sweet voice shouting “NO!”?

[Reply]
Cheryl D. Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 3:47 pm

Cheryl, as the mom to a really smart, special needs girl, I think your daughter may be gifted. Being gifted is great, but sometimes, there can be some bad stuff that goes with it. She is definitely going to keep you on your toes! Yikes!
Cheryl D. recently posted..Anything at All

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:02 pm
Oh, she’s gifted for sure. She can make my blood boil in 2.3 seconds. That’s definitely a gift! LOL

[Reply]
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:08 pm

I can see the sassy shit starting with my oldest too, who is only 3 1/2. I like what Nichole said about telling her how it makes you feel but as I write that, I know that wouldn’t work with mine either. See the problem is that I am pretty sassy and she is JUST LIKE ME. So I guess goes around comes around? Sorry this comment is probably not helping you at all. Except to say: I know how you feel!
Rachel {at} Mommy Needs a Vacation recently posted..Wordful Wednesday- Papa Style

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:18 pm
Yeah. I’ve been known to, you know, sass a time or 12 million..

[Reply]
Becky Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:10 pm

Glad I’m not alone with a stroppy madam! DD is about to turn 7 and thinks she’s in charge and knows everything…

Tonight she deliberately peed her bed after refusing to go to the toilet before getting her PJs on… hope she enjoys sleeping on the floor whilst the mattress dries out..
Becky recently posted..Wordless Wednesday- Plant Life

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
WHAT?!?! You’re not supposed to tell me she’s going to be worse in a couple years! My son is almost 7 and tho he has his challenges, my daughter is much more sassy!

[Reply]
Rudri Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Attitude – we know that well in our household. I can’t stay frustrated with her too long because she eventually does something cute.

We’ve employed a new option in combating her “attitude”. We tell her to stand in the corner and touch her toes. That usually calms her down and she has flexibile hamstrings to boot.
Rudri recently posted..Have You Heard About What She Did

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 6th, 2010 at 4:40 pm
The cuteness is, really, the only thing that saves these kids! I like the touching-the-toes thing. I might try that!

[Reply]
Gayle Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 5:06 pm

no fair I wanted to be #200 well I guess I’ll just have to settle for 203 or whatever I get

Oh my goodness I am having the same problem with my daughter she is sweetness personified but she literally drives me to drink… she is not so much angry just so EASILY DISTRACTED that I am always yelling POUT
like you I am working hard hard at being a good parent.
Love pic your daughter is adorable
Gayle recently posted..Freaky Little Nicole

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 7th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
They are quite “challenging,” aren’t they?? I’ve earned every grey hair!

[Reply]
bitter betty Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 7:09 pm

Dear God and here I am trying like hell to have a girl!! I think my son is pretty darn bad sometimes, but I keep hearing it’s nothing like girl sass, and if the female child is anything like me, God help us all! Umm, maybe I do want another boy…

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 7th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
Our eldest son is quite dramatic, but my daughter takes it to a whole other level! And yet – I wouldn’t trade having a girl for anything. I hope you get yours!!

[Reply]
Kate Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 9:35 pm

I was that way! I promise we turn out alright as long as our parents are determined to help us be good people! Sounds like you are! I was a good kid with a mouth-I ALWAYS let my parents know what I was thinking!

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 7th, 2010 at 5:57 pm
I wasn’t shy that way either! She has lots of qualities that will serve her well later in life – but now they’re driving me crazy! lol

[Reply]
Holly Says:
October 6th, 2010 at 10:05 pm

Oh, my, I’ve seen that look from my 6 yo MANY times. My husband just laughs and says “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Nice! I am a fan of this antiquated series of parenting books creatively titled, “Your Five Year Old,” “Your Six Year Old,” etc., which talks about periods of equilibrium and disequilibrium, and as a result I try to cherish the equilibrium periods and grin and bear the disequilibrium. And when both of my kids are in equilbrium at the same time — major happy dance!
Holly recently posted..Happiness- Six Year Old Style

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 7th, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Ooh..but what happens when they are both in disequilibrium at the same time???

[Reply]
mommakiss Says:
October 7th, 2010 at 1:39 pm

I’m nervous for the ‘tude years. We already get tantrumy-toddler-’tude and recently-turning-5-’tude. Tween ‘Tude? NOT looking forward tot that. Not to mention, I have constant fear that I’m not doing the right ‘parental’ thing for my boys. Shit’s hard! I just keep telling myself – love them, know they’re loved and laugh. Please hope that keeps them out of jail and good citizens.
mommakiss recently posted..Shining Stones

[Reply]
Cheryl Reply:
October 7th, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Yes! If we can just keep them out of jail, I will have done a good job! hee!

I can’t even talk about the tween years. I’m too afraid!

[Reply]
Amy @ Never-True Tales Says:
October 9th, 2010 at 10:10 am

My son got mad at us during a game because we clapped when the other team scored, too! I didn’t think that would happen to anyone else! I mean, how can you NOT clap when a five-year-old scores?!
Amy @ Never-True Tales recently posted..Time- Stopping for no man since the dawn of- well…time

[Reply]
Yes Jar Says:
October 12th, 2010 at 6:07 am

[...] lot of you commented on my post about my frustration trying to parent my adorable but incredibly feisty [...]

« previous | next »

‘Tude

Comments

54 Responses to “‘Tude”

Leave a Reply

Get ‘Pants in your Inbox

Fan the Pants!

Recent Posts

Search me!

Archives

Categories