There’s no crying in soccer
Four and five year-olds playing soccer is supposed to all be about fun, right?
They wear ribbons in their hair and have team names like Pink Ponies and Buttercups. They travel in clumps and kick at each other and are most excited about the post-game snack. Nobody wins or loses or keeps track of the goals (except the kids and the parents, of course).
Sage has had a great time so far. The other girls on the team seem to enjoy it, too. No one stands around picking grass or whining or whatever. They all want to play.
Today’s opponent was the Purple Unicorns. Before the game, I overheard their coach, who is the mom of a girl on the team, telling our coach that her daughter scored five goals the first game and one – for the other team – last week.
In fairness, maybe I missed something else in the convo – perhaps about the girl’s delicate composition.
Because this coach? Held her daughter’s hand for much of the game. Mostly because the girl kept crying.
And why was she crying, you ask? Apparently she didn’t like that our team kept scoring, and that she didn’t get a chance to even touch the ball, as one of her teammates was a pretty good player and scored a couple goals herself.
So she’s whimpering and carrying on and Sage’s team stops and looks at her, no doubt wondering what was going on and whether possibly they should also be crying.
As were all of us.
At one point, it appeared our team was asked to basically stand around while this child is given the ball and she gets to SCORE! And she was SO HAPPY!
Until play resumes and Sage’s team scored AGAIN. And to add insult to injury, she tripped and fell to the ground.
Sob sob sob.
Hugs from mom.
And blogosphere, I totally get that they’re little kids and some aren’t really ready to be out there. That it’s all about learning and having a good time and building confidence – and watching the other team score really sucks.
By allowing her to “score” a goal, what was the lesson? That if she cries she will get what she wants and the other kids have to watch it happen? This girl was NOT handicapped or small. She was not the only player who didn’t score. What message did it send to her – and the other players?
It’s not okay to stand on the field and sob and hold Mommy’s hand for an entire game. She should’ve sat out until she could get a grip on herself. Her mother is either incredibly patient or perhaps may need to be a teensy bit more firm. Or I could see maybe the mom felt, as the coach, she couldn’t make her daughter sit and still be on the field coaching the team. I have no idea whether the girl’s father was there.
I really don’t like to judge other parents (well, I mean, at least not out loud) so I’m hoping that there was something else going on with the child to explain this. Because I can tell you for sure if Sage was behaving that way? Her butt would be on the sidelines and she’d have to sit there and watch.
And I would never ask other players to be less so my child could be more.
When Sage went down with a couple minutes left in the game and started crying and the coach sent her over to me, I told her to stop crying, take a drink of water and get back out there – and she did.
Both of us were very proud.
What say you? Am I heartless that this whole thing annoyed me? Love, Hardass Soccer Mom.