The Green Dress

by , posted on April 29th, 2011 in Red Writing Hood




This is a work of fiction, based on the prompt “Describe a fight” from The Red Dress Club. It is the third installment. You can read the first one here and the second one here.

Kristi was somewhere in the back of my closet.

I could hear her occasional muttering and the screech of hangers across the metal bar.

“Aha!” she said “You can wear this!”

She emerged from my closet, waving an emerald green silk dress triumphantly in her hand.

“Sure,” I said. “Just put it on the bed.”

“Okay. I’ll be back at 8 to get you. I’m so glad you’re coming, Cam. It’ll be fun!”

My front door closed as Kristi left. I hadn’t moved. The dress pooled on the bed. I watched it like it was a snake poised to strike.

I didn’t want the memories to come back, but I was powerless.

I had bought the dress specifically for Justin’s friend’s 30th birthday party at The Edge, the hottest bar in Chicago. I wanted to look amazing and found the dress at a small boutique and I splurged. It was simple in the front but dipped low in the back and fit like a second skin.

We were almost late to the party. I sauntered into the living room where Justin waited on the couch and twirled in a slow circle. He let out a low whistle before he stood and pulled me to him. His hands were hot over the cool silk as he kissed me.

“No way,” I said, pushing him away. “I do not want a wrinkle on this dress.”

The bar was packed. House music blasted and there was a special drink in honor of the birthday boy. It was some sort of martini, maybe. I wasn’t sure, but they were good. And strong. I’d had more than a few when a couple friends dragged me out to the dance floor. This was a dangerous combination, me and alcohol and dancing. It’s like someone else takes over my body.

I had no idea where Justin was. Probably out on the roof deck smoking cigars. We were soon joined by some guys I didn’t know. I started dancing with a tall, cute guy. I tossed down another drink and we kept dancing. He put his hands on me, my waist first, and then traveled lower. I pulled away but his hands were all over me, and that’s when Justin grabbed me.

“Get your fucking hands off my wife,” he shouted.

“Sorry, bro, I didn’t know she was married.”

Justin pulled me out of the bar and I stumbled on my sky-high heels.

“What the fuck, Cam?” he yelled into the sudden quiet as the bar door closed behind us.

“I don’t know, I was just dancing, and then…”

“You didn’t seem like you did much to stop him. That guy was two seconds away from shoving his tongue down your throat.”

I couldn’t remember the last time I saw Justin this mad. I wondered how much he’d had to drink.

“That’s bullshit, Justin. We were dancing. It got a little carried away. That was it. Calm down.”

“Really? Then why don’t you go back in there? I’m sure he’d be happy to feel you up again.”

I smiled as it hit me. He was jealous. My always-chill husband was actually jealous.

“Justin. Please. It was just dancing. You know I only want you. I love you.”

I wrapped my arms around him. His body was tense and it was a few moments before he relaxed. We caught a cab and when we got home he practically ripped the dress off me. We made crazy love on the floor, my head resting on the dress.

The next morning he left to get bagels from the shop a block away. He collapsed on the sidewalk  from a brain aneurism, the bagels falling from the bag and rolling onto the street.

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33 Responses to “The Green Dress”

  1. Frelle Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    oh my gosh.

    i feel like ive been kicked in the gut.

    great writing, always. love.
    Frelle recently posted..Chick Fight

    [Reply]


  2. Alison@Mama Wants This Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 7:51 pm

    Wow. What an unexpected ending. Great stuff Cheryl.
    Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Two sides

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  3. Renee Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 7:55 pm

    It would be that dress her friend picked for her.

    Keep going, I know there’s more.

    [Reply]


  4. Frume Sarah Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    While I had a feeling the story was heading to this inevitability, I was still taken aback when it happened.

    I’m going to have very mixed emotions if she ends up pregnant…

    [Reply]


  5. Denelle @CaitsConcepts Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    ack, WHAT?!

    I suppose by now I shouldn’t be surprised by your endings, but I always am. Always.

    Great job capturing your readers!

    I’d offer concrit, but I’m afraid mine is just based on personal jealousy experience from someone not normally calm and collected. ;)
    Denelle @CaitsConcepts recently posted..The View from Down Here

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  6. Carrie Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    SO not what I was expecting for the end!!
    Carrie recently posted..Red Writing Hood- Strength

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  7. Karen @ Time Crafted Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    I actually read this out of order. I came here and read, then read the first installment, then the second, and came back here again to reread.

    Your writing conveys the vibe of the bar and Cam’s emotions so well, wrapping me further into the story with each word. And an anneurism?! Gasp! Since I read this installment first, I didn’t know he’d be gone in the end. And you definitely had me. I actually did gasp out loud. Do hope you’ll write more about Cam! :>
    Karen @ Time Crafted recently posted..Time

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Thanks for going back and reading and commenting on the first two installments. I really appreciate it and I’m glad you’re interested in reading more! This probably made a little more sense after reading the first two. ;)

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  8. angela Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 9:58 pm

    Although I knew she was working on getting past his death, I didn’t expect it at the end of this piece. The feelings of splurging on the dress, letting alcohol & music take over, the fight, the make-up sex all were so very vivid. Then his death; it was a punch in the stomach. Great job!
    angela recently posted..Tears Will Fall

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Thanks, Angela. I hoped it’d be a little jarring – especially considering how Cam must’ve felt, waiting in bed for Justin to come back w/ the bagels, after the night they’d had.

    [Reply]


  9. tracy Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 10:08 pm

    Even though I knew it was coming, I still didn’t want to read it. Love how you make them real for me. I expect it to be published someday. xo
    tracy recently posted..So that is what eight looks like

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  10. Theresa Sonoda Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 10:13 pm

    Unlike an earlier comment, I did not see that ending coming! You like to shock, don’t you? I like that. That’s why I keep coming back, ya know. Umm Hmm.
    Good stuff.

    [Reply]


  11. The Drama Mama Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 10:33 pm

    I wasn’t expecting that ending, either. you built the story up nicely, and it really twisted my mind to think that of all the dresses in the closet, THAT was the one Kristi had to pick. I love the small details you weave in…the dress pooled, the snake weaved, sudden quiet…that set the stage so vividly.

    I have to be honest and say that the end kind of rushed up on me so it was a little jolting that way. I felt like the rushed state of it pulled me out of the story a little.

    You create some fabulous characters!
    The Drama Mama recently posted..Cinderella Syndrome

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    It was meant to be jarring, just like his sudden death was to Cam.

    But I have to say, the word count had something to do with it, too. ;)

    [Reply]


  12. CDG Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    Sheesh, Cheryl.

    Crazy floor sex to brain aneurism in …25 words. That has to be a record.

    You are cruel.
    CDG recently posted..Things Begin to Go Wrong

    [Reply]


  13. Tiffany Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 11:20 pm

    Wow! I did not read the first two installments and this still ripped at my heart. You cannot leave this hanging here. Amazing writing.

    [Reply]


  14. Elaine Says:

    April 29th, 2011 at 11:45 pm

    I was so engrossed that I forgot about the first part with her friend getting the dress… I had to read it again. Such good writing. Love the line about the dress as snake about to strike.
    Elaine recently posted..Pink – You Capture

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  15. Andrea Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 12:23 am

    I have to be honest, I had a hard time with how quickly that ending came up, as well. I felt like the second to last paragraph was maybe missing something? I am not sure what, though, but something to ease the transition.

    The last paragraph, i felt that it would haveflowed better had you left our the why, and just said ‘he collapsed on the sidewalk, bagels faking .. Etc.” that could be my personal issue, as someone I loved died of a brain aneurysm, so i know I am reacting to that, but i think leaving it out leaves us hanging some more.

    I love how she flashed back to that night anyhow she felt, dancing, wearing the dress, feeling the music. And the jealousy that stabbed at him, his grabbing her away. Great stuff. I felt like I was watching them on the dance floor!
    Andrea recently posted..Fight or flight

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    The first two parts of the story don’t tell you why he died, only that he did, so to me, it was time to reveal from what he died.

    I am also sorry for your loss. It’s such a sudden, awful thing to happen. I know two people who’ve had one, but fortunately, both lived.

    [Reply]


  16. Andrea Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 12:25 am

    Excuse my typos. Autocorrect is not nice at this time of night!
    Andrea recently posted..Fight or flight

    [Reply]


  17. Jack@TheJackB Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 1:28 am

    I know someone this happened to.
    Jack@TheJackB recently posted..A Mugger

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Really? Terrifying!

    [Reply]


  18. JDaniel4's Mom Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 7:20 am

    My mind took a jump at the end. I hoped he had needed a relationship break and not that he had died.

    [Reply]


  19. Leighann Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 9:44 am

    OMG. She can’t wear that dress!
    This was so engaging!
    Great writing.
    Leighann recently posted..Spring Has Sprung

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    You’re right – she so cannot wear it! I think she’ll probably still be standing, frozen in that exact same position, when Kristi comes back to get her later.

    [Reply]


  20. Ashley Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 11:15 am

    What an ending…where’s the rest? Lol. Good story. Very good.
    Ashley recently posted..How We Met

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  21. d, the undomestic housewife Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    Wow.. Did not expect that ending. Powerful post.

    [Reply]


  22. Erin Says:

    April 30th, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    GOOD GOD – you are AMAZING- absolutely amazing – such inspired and scintillating writing….I yearn for an author like you – to read and feel so much as I read – and you did it so simply – just amazing – seriously –

    PUBLISH your work – PLEASE – PLEASE – I need stuff to read.
    Erin recently posted..Maybe Its Just a Little Pee

    [Reply]


  23. Mandyland Says:

    May 1st, 2011 at 3:07 am

    Holy crap.

    That was amazing. Not in the “oh that’s so good” way but in the “sit back in my chair and re-read” way.

    Brilliant.
    Mandyland recently posted..The Fight

    [Reply]


  24. Galit Breen Says:

    May 1st, 2011 at 3:19 pm

    You are so good. So, so good.

    I literally gasped at the ending. It was sudden, shocking, and perfectly so.

    I loved all of the peaks in this; not a whole lot of down time.

    Can’t wait to read part 4; so attached to the characters!
    Galit Breen recently posted..The Red Dress Club- A Fight

    [Reply]


  25. Robin Says:

    May 1st, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    I’m speechless Cheryl..My husband and I had a very, very, similar last setting the day of his death..15 minutes after one of the most beautiful mornings of my life..every detail I recall vividly..he was killed in a car accident. This was 1-24-2001..He was my one and only..my true soul mate..many people don’t understand how I can get a positive out of such a horrific death..his accident was very horrific..but I can say this, Although I died that day too..I’m so thankful we had such a beautiful morning together, a last kiss, a last love making, a last good-bye..til death we did part..and I’m still counting the days until I see his beautiful face again. I refuse to date because in my heart I still belong to him…Thanks the story rocked..you had me..I love to write myself..Have a great day!!

    Robin

    a widow wondering around earth trying to find the subtle signs from her lost love..Chris :)

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Oh, Robin…I don’t even know what to say. How heartbreaking, how tragic..I am glad you have found some small sense of comfort in your last moments together. Many, may hugs to you..

    [Reply]


  26. Kir Says:

    May 2nd, 2011 at 1:25 pm

    Oh that ending, I was not prepared for that…it makes for a wonderful story, all those open ended things to close up now, but wow, I’m recovering from his death. WHich makes it a GOOD STORY. :)
    Kir recently posted..Perfect Moment Monday- Being Me

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