Posts Tagged ‘blogher’
Thursday, September 15th, 2011
There were a lot of drunk women at BlogHer.
These were moms. Approaching – or already in – middle age.
Drinking past having a glass of wine or two.
It was completely understandable: they were away from the kids – some for the first time – and nobody was driving. There were tons of fun parties. And, it being a conference for bloggers, alcohol does have a way of softening that social anxiety.
These women left the conference and went back home to their families and maybe haven’t had much to drink since. Or maybe they went back to their glass-or-two a day lifestyle. For most, drinking isn’t even an issue. They enjoy wine or a margarita, but they can easily stop.
Then there are other women. Other women who count the minutes until they can start drinking in the afternoon, who drink a few glasses – or more- every night.
This should shock me. But it doesn’t. This same story quoted three women – all moms – who I know through blogging. I have met all three of them in person and I consider one a very good friend. And though I knew the stories of the first two, I had no idea my good friend Deb had a drinking problem.
I read her words in the magazine piece and I cried. I was terrified. So I called her. And we talked. I know about driveway gatherings in the afternoons. The kids play and the parents relax in lawn chairs, chatting and drinking wine. It happens on my street pretty often. Or you go over a friend’s house and the wine is immediately poured. If you have any sort of drinking issue, it’s easy to hide it where it is socially acceptable. Where you fit in and maybe nobody notices that you didn’t stop at just a glass or two.
I am not a drinker. I had my years where I was, but my husband rarely drinks (he is half-Korean, and many Asians lack the enzyme that breaks down alcohol) and so it’s not part of my daily life. Yes, I have the occasional glass of wine or a beer, but never if my husband is away on business, in case I have to drive my kids somewhere or there is an emergency. I do not need it to be social. I do not need it to dance like a maniac at BlogHer. I do not need it to relax after another grueling day of chasing a boundary-pushing toddler, sparring with a sassy six year-old or engaging in Homework Wars with my second grader.
And so maybe some of the things I see are skewed. Because my normal is different from others. But that doesn’t mean someone else’s normal is not excessive.
I am worried about my friend. She is beautiful. Genuine. Incredibly talented. A kind, thoughtful, wonderful friend. A great mother to two little girls.
All I can offer is my love and support.
Asking a person with a drinking problem to just stop drinking is like telling an anorexic to just eat.
If it were that simple.
If only it were that simple.
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
I don’t know when it happened, exactly.
Probably because it was an evolution. An evolution over much of my lifetime that brought me from an insecure teenager and 20-something to where I am now.
Confident. Secure. Owning who I am.
That is why, when I was chosen by Moms Fashion File for a makeover at Blogher, I was thrilled. I was ready to celebrate, to shake out my mom pony and throw away my yoga pants.
It was going to be fun. FUN.
And it was.
Please come check out my story.
If you are here via BlogHer, welcome! I hope you like what you see. Feel free to poke around!
Wednesday, August 10th, 2011
I am not sure I have digested everything from BlogHer yet. And I don’t mean the calamari and the spicy Thai chicken and the Dove ice cream bar and all the freaking candy that was at every party and who knows what else I ate.
There was a lot packed into five days. A lot. I will attempt to package it in an easy-to-read format. I hear that’s good for bloggers to do.
In no particular order:
1. The workout with Bob Harper. I have watched The Biggest Loser for years, and I was stoked to get the chance to work out with him. I was always more Team Jillian and couldn’t figure out why the contestants seem so in love with him. Now I know. That guy has charisma oozing out his pores. He’s also extremely good-looking. And funny. He had us laughing through the inferno in our quads. I think this is the first day my abs aren’t sore. He’s just genuinely nice and really seemed to love what he does. He also picked on my friend Julie, calling her Party Girl. It made me giggle. Also, he touched me. Twice. Swoon!
2. Sparklecorn. Let’s be honest. My club days are so far behind me I’d need a telescope to find them. But that did not seem to stop me from getting up on stage and shaking what my mama – and birthing three kids – gave me. At one point, we took over the back part of the stage and people? You have no idea what went on. You’d have to ask Nichole, Sherri, Lori, Tonya, Jen, Rachel, Natalie, Monique, Morgan, Amy, Yuliya and Poppy.
3. Saturday breakfast where Aliza Sherman was incredibly generous sharing her knowledge on how to get a book deal. I learned more practical, REAL information from her in an hour than I did in any session. I also met Deborah from Kveller.com and learned about their site for parents raising Jewish children. We had such an interesting conversation. And there were other women at the table I didn’t get a chance to speak with, but I have to say, I felt honored to be sitting at a table filled with so many amazingly brilliant women.
4. The Style Suite from the Moms Fashion File. I was lucky enough to be selected for a styling/makeover and it was such a fun experience I’m still glowing from it. I will have a post later with all the deets, but they made me feel like a rock star – especially my awesome stylist, Jill Simonian. We giggled so much and she somehow made me look like a hot mama despite my best efforts. I adore her. And the party after? Amazeballs.
5. Speaking of amazeballs, Team Amazeballs got together and ran a 5K. Well, let’s rephrase. Some of us ran it, but Tracy and Tracy were like freaking gazelles and I was like a gazelle that had its legs chewed off by a lion. Which worked out fine, because I got the chance to run with Poppy who I hadn’t met. Do not let her avatar fool you – this girl is gorgeous! And very cool. And didn’t mind running my maimed gazelle pace with me.
6. Watching my dear friend Lori read her amazing piece at Voices of the Year. I cried the first time I read her post, and listening to her read it aloud in a packed room full of women made me so very proud of her and made me all teary again. An incredibly touching and empowering moment.
7. Saying hi to Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. Last year I stalked her. This year, she was only there one day, for the People’s Party, where they set up an actual bathroom in the convention ballroom just for her. Jenny usually holds court in the bathroom, so I guess in order to actually keep her at the party, they built her one. I only knew she was there because of the huge line of women waiting to meet her. It was like waiting for Santa. Only I would’ve crushed her if I sat on her knee. Also, she wears wigs, not fake beards. I waited until there was no line and then went in to say hello. She truly is one of the most lovely and genuine women I’ve met – you’d never know she’s one of the biggest bloggers in the country, possibly in all the universe. And she has great taste in shirts.
8. Meeting some bloggy peeps I’d been wanting to. I know I’m going to leave people out but know I loved meeting each and every one of you. I just wanted to give a shout-out to those who weren’t part of The Dance Party: the bubbly and adorable Jenny Feldon, the pregnant and tired but still up for fun Katie, the genuinely nice and lovely Elena and the stunningly beautiful and cool Merry.
9. You already know about the flashmob but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention it again. I still have the song knocking around in my head, which is extremely helpful when you’re blogging at almost midnight.
10. My girls. Oh, my girls. Gigi, my roomie, my twin, my brilliant friend. I have no pictures of us because our worlds did not collide much. I am not concerned since she’ll be living an hour away in less than a week. Not that I’m counting the minutes, or anything. Then there’s Tracy, who I also do not have a single picture of just the two of us. We are truly soul sisters. We could – and did – talk for hours, and she’s forgiven me for hating coffee, and I’ve forgiven her for wiping the restaurant table while we had dinner.
And then there’s Nichole. I don’t even know what to say. She is wickedly funny and extremely kind and she wears her emotions right on her sleeve. She is a tremendous part of my life and I’m grateful for her every day. However, if she doesn’t kick that BlogHer raspy voice I will refuse to speak to her on the phone anymore.
What were your favorite moments?
Tuesday, August 9th, 2011
In the middle of lunch Friday afternoon, in the middle of the cavernous convention hall, I danced.
Well, dancing is being kind.
It all began a month ago or so, the amazing Theresa from RockOnMommies and Mary from the Mama Mary Show put together a dance for a BlogHer flashmob. I wanted to learn it. I did. But time and, uh, lack of skeelz kept me from it. I wanted to do it. I so did. I mean, how often to you get the opportunity to be in a flashmob? But I didn’t think I could pull it off.
Then, Wednesday night, after an awesome dinner out, Mary gave me a quick lesson by the hotel pool. I learned the chorus. I was thrilled – I WAS going to be in the flashmob!
So there we all were Friday at noon, milling about, when the music starts playing over the speakers. Theresa, a former professional cheerleader who is absolutely adorable, started dancing. And people knew something was going to happen.
I raced across to get into position – you can see me running right by Mary.
I sat down, waiting for my cue, which clearly I had no idea of what it was, because I jumped in a little too early.
Thankfully I was next to Stephanie, who shouted out dance-y terms to me and I just followed along like I was in an aerobics class.
I was on the edge of glory. No. Really. That was the song. Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga.
Here it is (video courtesy of Mary’s husband)
And here are the proud MobHers, photo courtesy of Lindsey
Now that I’ve done it once, I’ve got the fever. I totally want to do it again. Only next time, I’ll actually learn the dance!!
Monday, August 8th, 2011
I love talking to a two year-old on the phone.
It goes something like this:
“Hi Xander! Hi Bubbie!”
“What are you doing?”
“Mommy boobies. Mommy nakey butt. Hee hee hee.”
Uh…is your dad watching those movies again?
“Have you been a good boy?”
“Mommy boobies. Hee hee.”
And so on.
Sunday, after almost five days away from them, the family came to pick me up from the hotel in San Diego.
I looked down, and Xander was flapping his hands frantically, trying to figure out how to get to me.
I reached down and grabbed him.
Held him close.
He put his head on my shoulder and I inhaled his scent.
And for only the second time at BlogHer, tears came.
I missed him. He missed me.
The craziness of the past week, the drama, the fun, the connections, the racing around, the stress, the exhaustion, the hilarity – none of it mattered in that moment.
I was back with my family and everything else faded away.