Shopping with kids

by , posted on April 24th, 2012 in Humor, Parenting




We had no food.

No bread. No lunch meat. No anything that my second grader was willing to eat for lunch. And certainly nothing for dinner.

David was out of town all day, leaving me no choice but to gear up and head into battle: I took the three kids grocery shopping.

The beginning all seemed so hopeful.

grocery cart

They were happy and full of anticipation. Even though they were not shopping with The Fun Guy who buys them Lucky Charms and Cars fruit snacks and economy bags of Skittles. We made it through produce and pasta and sauce and dairy.

Have you ever pushed one of those carts with the car in front? Not only do they weigh 729 pounds, but they are impossible to maneuver in the aisles without knocking down the displays of Stovetop Stuffing and goldfish crackers. So I was pushing the car and more than 80 pounds of child and we were doing okay and then, right in frozen foods, the wheels fell off the crazy train.

Xander wanted Sage out of the car front of the cart. I made her get out, and then Sawyer got in, and then Xander got out and started screaming. Good thing this wasn’t around 5 p.m. when the store starts filling up with people stopping in on their way home from work. Because then there’d be a LOT of people staring at us.

So then Sawyer got out and Xander got back in and we had momentary quiet – before they ALL got out and started racing down the aisles, trying to grab the junk food off the shelves and toss it into the cart without my noticing.

I noticed. Back the crap went.

Complete catastrophe was averted when I got them interested in picking out stuff for making their own pizzas for dinner. Then Sage decided she was going to climb on the roof of the car and Xander stuck his head out and tried to kick her and Sawyer kept asking if he could play Call of Duty when he got home.

“We’re done, Mom, right?” he asked every five seconds.

Oh, I was done. D-O-N-E. Unfortunately, I hadn’t yet bought him anything for his lunch. Finally, we got in the checkout line. Xander and Sage ran off and I dispatched Sawyer to find them so I could pay the $82 in peace.

I loaded the groceries in the back of our SUV and shoved the kids into the car and pushed the stupid cart back in front of the store.

And then I cried.

scream

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45 Responses to “Shopping with kids”

  1. Cameron Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    And at the end of that oh-so-familiar scene?

    What I want to know is, where’d you get the cute hat?
    Cameron recently posted..Thirteen

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Target. Where else? :)

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  2. julie gardner Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Seriously. Why do they always put the Stove Top Stuffing in the aisles?

    p.s. Someday you will be able to leave your kids at home when you go to the grocery store. It’s almost like the day spa. With stuffing.
    julie gardner recently posted..Today call me bad

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    tracy@sellabitmum Reply:

    You mean I’m not suppose to do that yet? Shit.
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..My Best Friend

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Ooooh…spa day…

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  3. Plangirl Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:36 pm

    We have this fabulous service here called PeaPod that delivers groceries. I could not live without it! Surely they have something similar in the O.C. I would rather go to the grocery store, but just don’t have time. So I grocery shop online in my jammies at 11pm and it magically appears at more door the next day. More expensive than grocery shopping myself? Yes, slightly! But if you take into account the eating out because I haven’t had time or the shrink bills because I had to take the kids, it all works out in the end =)

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    I’m sure we do have delivery service. But then what would I have to blog about? ;)

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    Kathy at kissing the frog Reply:

    LOL, Cheryl, so true! Love the picture of all the kids jammed in the gwad-awful car cart. I’m always terrified when I have to make a store run with all four boys (shivers).
    Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..Today

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    FOUR?!?!? Total nightmare!


  4. anna Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:49 pm

    i had a similar experience recently – complete with my five-year-old crawling alongside the car as the car driver’s pet cat.

    yesterday we were out of bread, and i kid you not, i decided it was easier to bake a loaf myself little-red-hen style than to drag the kids out to the grocery store.
    anna recently posted..If You’re Fighting in the Mommy Wars: You’ve Already Won

    [Reply]

    Paula Reply:

    It is WAY easier to bake a loaf than to go to the store. And I don’t even have kids.

    http://operaflute.blogspot.com/2011/11/daily-special-keeping-house-warm-in.html

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Never done it. It does not seem easy, with all that proofing and rising and kneading and stuff.

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    Paula Reply:

    No proofing, no kneading. It’s a long time to get from bag of flour to loaf of bread, but really only 5 minutes of actual effort. It’s part of my routine now (since I can not bear to actual make the effort to go to the store, even without kids.)

    Cheryl Reply:

    maybe you could, you know, send me a loaf or two?

    Cheryl Reply:

    The car driver’s pet cat?? I. Die.

    You baked bread? I am VERY impressed!

    [Reply]


  5. Kathy Radigan Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    Few things do I detest more than taking all three of my kids food shopping. I applaud you for surviving with just a small tear!! I love that hat too!! I also love the pictures of the kids in the store. Just looking at three kids in a market gets my pulse up! Thanks for a great piece!
    Kathy Radigan recently posted..My Dishwasher My Muse

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    I should’ve taken a picture when they were running wild in the aisles with all the people staring at them, then at me!

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  6. Katie Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    I won’t even take just the 2 year old to the store with me. Ack!

    Also? yes. that hat is so cute. want.
    Katie recently posted..invisible labels

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Take the baby. MUCH easier!

    Hat is from Target. I ripped off the front strap that went across the top of the brim and two buttons on the side. I’m so creative. HA!

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  7. angela Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    It is truth that kids at the grocery store is a blog post waiting to happen.

    And then they don’t like anything you bought anyway :)
    angela recently posted..Reach for Your Own Star

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Well, of course that’s why I went. We had plenty of food. HA!!

    [Reply]


  8. Jen Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Because of school, I get to grocery shop in peace. I fear summer for I will no longer get this.

    And I must say, I am very impressed you left the grocery store for under $100. I can never do that.
    Jen recently posted..Senioritis

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    You have one more child than me. Also it was only one store. Dumped a ton of $ at Target today and haven’t been to Trader Joe’s yet.

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  9. Melanie Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:10 pm

    Oh…oh…oh…oh, I feel ya! This was me, the other day. I’ve so been there which is why I try to make store runs with the 3 kiddos a rare occurrence.

    Honestly, you look so much better than I do after my store experience w/ 3 kiddos. If only I could look that cute and put together.
    Melanie recently posted..Missing That Career…

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Ack! It was raining. I was totally frumpy mom at the store with three wild kids!

    [Reply]


  10. Mad Woman behind the Blog Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:27 pm

    I LOVE that first pic! I want to gobble Xander up!
    And yes, I know this pain. Maddy and Sam are TERRIBLE shoppers. And I get to enjoy this in primetime.

    Also: I hear Safeway delivers!

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Xander is cute, isn’t he? But not so cute when he sticks his hand out of that little car and touches every. single. thing.

    [Reply]


  11. tracy@sellabitmum Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:28 pm

    Good times, my friend. So been there. (okay, not really…just trying to make you feel better cuz you’re my bestie) xo
    tracy@sellabitmum recently posted..My Best Friend

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Maybe you could send Eloise to me for next time?

    [Reply]


  12. Tracie Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 1:30 pm

    Grocery shopping with kids is torture. This is what they should do with spies – I can see it now, “No! NO! I’ll tell you the secrets of my country, just don’t make me walk down the candy aisle with these children!!!”

    That hat = total cuteness.
    Tracie recently posted..This Magic Moment – I Am Not A T-Ball Champion But The Moon Loves Me

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    HA! Yes! ANYTHING BUT THE CANDY AISLE!!!

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  13. Jennifer Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    I so feel ya on this one! The single most thing I look forward to when my kids are old enough to be left alone is grocery shopping all by myself. It’s going to be a beautiful day, oh yes it is.

    p.s. you rock that hat
    Jennifer recently posted..Regarding Vandalism to The Little Tattoo Shoppe

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Are kids really ever old enough to be left alone? I shudder to think what my house would look like upon my return..

    [Reply]


  14. Heather Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 7:15 pm

    Well, the one success is that it sounds like you didn’t have someone push a shopping cart into your ankles numerous times. ;)
    Heather recently posted..Framing for Privacy

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    Cheryl Reply:

    You make an excellent point! My mind might be gone, but my ankles are bruise-free!

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  15. Kat Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    I would rather drink Insanity Level Hot Sauce out of the bottle than take my kids grocery shopping, sadly sometimes there are no options. Well done for making it out alive!
    Kat recently posted..The comedy of errors, and then I had to move another body

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    Cheryl Reply:

    Giggle. The craziest part is I kept telling myself it wouldn’t be that bad. And then i was surprised when it was EXACTLY that bad!!

    [Reply]


  16. Jessica Anne Says:

    April 24th, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    Brave, brave, brave. I tried all 3 once in the same no food predicament. They were very young. It did not go well. Since, I’ve decided starvation is preferable. :)

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Yes. Starvation. Totally agree.

    [Reply]


  17. Varda (SquashedMom) Says:

    April 25th, 2012 at 7:14 am

    Grocery shopping with kids. Sigh. When I have just one with me, it’s tolerable. We talk, they help push. They actually even help me shop (and not JUST in the candy aisle). But when it’s the 2 of them together? Yes, I become THAT mom – the one standing in the middle of the grocery store yelling at her kids (who have run off in 2 different directions, both out of sight) – glares of disapproval darting at her from all sides.

    I feel your pain, sister!
    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Words

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Yes, it’s when you’re outnumbered that all hell breaks lose!!

    [Reply]


  18. Kris Says:

    April 25th, 2012 at 2:16 pm

    I brave Target with only one of two kids. I go to the grocery store alone, on my way home from our early morning runs – No kids allowed!

    My husband was out of town Sunday so I told my neighbor I’d cook for our families if she shopped for the food. It worked out perfectly!! :)

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    uh..i’ll cook for YOU! :)

    [Reply]


  19. Arnebya Says:

    April 26th, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Oh, how I detest those carts: the car ones at the grocery store and the stupid, clunky red thing in Target. Sorry, kiddo, they’re broken. EVERY TIME WE GO I SAY THEY’RE BROKEN. Nope, don’t even try to move it to make sure, Mommy’s telling you it’s broken and she’s sure. Ooh look, Fruit Loops!

    My husband does the grocery shopping and he goes alone. Whenever I go (you know, to get all the stuff I requested that he decided I could actually do without), I go alone. That $82 will skyrocket to $150 with kids in tow. (It only goes to $120 when I’m alone becuase oooh look, blackberries and they’re only $15!).
    Arnebya recently posted..Wordful Wednesday: Pictures and Sisters

    [Reply]


  20. Cass @ Washing-line Revelations Says:

    April 29th, 2012 at 8:07 pm

    OMG luv. I’ve had this exact day. You have the same life as me. You poor thing.

    Ten years from now I see myself in therapy talking through traumatic shopping with kids experiences. By then my kids will be all grown up with jobs so they can pay for the therapy sessions.
    Cass @ Washing-line Revelations recently posted..Photo A Day – Day 26 – Black & White

    [Reply]


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