Say what?
by Cheryl, posted on August 12th, 2010 in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop
Someone I consider a friend called me an asshole today.
An asshole.
Because she disagreed with me about something to do with politics. And we are both democrats. She then sternly told me just because we agree on some things doesn’t mean she has to agree with me on everything. I said that was true. Her final pronouncement was that I was “wrong.” Actually, that I was “WRONG.” It was definitely an all-caps kind of statement. Or shout.
I’ve never been called an asshole before. I don’t even think behind my back. I mean, I’m sure I’ve been called other things, like, you know, awesome and all that. But asshole?
It was so unlike her.
She stormed off. I stood there, looking through the newspaper for another minute, trying to gather my thoughts before I walked away.
I was upset. As anyone who was just attacked would be. It’s tough sometimes to look beyond the incident and wonder what happened to her today that would cause her to call me a name and to act like, well, an asshole.
What could I have done differently? How did the situation blow up?
She’s always been great. Kind to my kids, gives them gifts for their birthdays and Christmas, listens to them yammer as she’s trying to get yard work done. Her boyfriend even made Sage’s birthday cake one year. She’s smart and funny and I’d hate to have this cause a permanent rift.
We never know if something we say will unknowingly touch a nerve and set someone off. I think it’s not always about what we do or don’t do, what we say or don’t say, whether an eyebrow was raised a millimeter too high. We only have so much control.
Sure, I wished I’d said something like “Don’t EVER call me an asshole, and, actually, I’m not WRONG just because you say I am” but you know what? I was not only stunned at what just happened – don’t you hate that? When your jaw is hanging open so you can’t start forming the words you’ll think of a few minutes after the confrontation is over? – I also didn’t want to escalate the situation.
But I’ll be waiting for an explanation. And an apology.
In the meantime, I’ll focus on this. Because how can someone who’s an asshole produce something this freakin’ adorable?
This post was based on the prompt “Lou Holtz once said, “life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” Do you believe this? Describe a time when you feel like you could have responded a different way and produced a different outcome” from Mama Kat’s writing workshop.
Tags: apologize, chillax, i'm not an asshole, my kid is adorable
Cheryl Reply:
August 12th, 2010 at 12:44 pm
It’s funny to call a woman one, too. I’m sure we’ll have a discussion about it. We can’t avoid each other. And? Lou Holtz is insane. But I kinda get what he means.
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