Private parts
by Cheryl, posted on June 22nd, 2010 in Uncategorized
We were at the pool the other day. I helped Sawyer get out of his suit and into his clothes, holding the towel up so he could have privacy.
He started dancing around. Doing a wiener dance. And I say wiener because, well, he does. I have found it really doesn’t matter if you teach them anatomically correct names for body parts and always use them when you talk to them about it. They will hear from a friend that it can be called Something Else, and suddenly you have a wiener and nuts.
Mommy? My wiener? It’s called a hot dog. HEEHEEHEE!
Dance. Dance. Dance.
And a girl’s private part? It’s called the bun. HAHAHAHA!
Dance. Dance. Dance.
Where did you hear that?
I made it up. That’s what it looks like.
Well, he does kind of have a point. And I’m trying not to laugh, but he’s just getting warmed up.
Mommy? And then! And then you put the hot dog in the bun! AHOHOHOHOHA!
The eff? I mean, I KNOW he doesn’t understand the mechanics of intercourse, or that there even is such a thing. So I know it was innocent. The main thing is I don’t want him espousing his theory to his classmates during recess. Can you imagine??
But you know, it’s normal to be 6 1/2 and curious about your body and the differences between boys and girls.
So the other day, we’re over a friend’s house. I’m outside chasing X around the courtyard. My friend’s daughter comes out and says Sawyer, Sage and her 6 year-old brother are locked in the bathroom and won’t come out.
Ever just know something is going on that shouldn’t? Yeah. Me too.
I go upstairs. They’re in the boy’s bedroom. The boy and Sage both say they were all just peeing.
But Sawyer? He told me the truth: they pulled down their pants and looked at each other’s private parts.
GAH!
To be honest, I wasn’t that mad. I mean, like I said, it’s totally normal. But I had to make them THINK I was mad. I did tell Sawyer I was proud of him for telling the truth, even though he knew he was probably going to be in trouble.
For me, it’s a matter of not only what is appropriate behavior, but of keeping them safe. It might not always be a good friend of the same age in a safe place wanting to compare. And what would they say then? What if the child asking was, say, 12? Sixteen? Or an adult? Would my kids say No or would they go along with it?
It’s a scary, scary thing.
So on the ride home, I reiterated that you NEVER show anyone your private parts. That YOU are the only ones allowed to touch them. And that if someone asks you to see yours? You say No and tell Mommy, Daddy or another trusted adult.
But what if the older kid says he didn’t? Would you believe me, Mommy?
I will ALWAYS believe you.
Always.
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Have any of you gone through this? How did you or how do you plan to talk to your kids about privacy?
Tags: bun, dance, danger, friend, hot dog, intercourse, privacy, private parts, Sawyer, trust, wiener
Janine Says:
Cheryl Reply:
June 22nd, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Yes, you always hope they’ll trust their gut. But I always think of that Oprah episode where the undercover guy lures kids away from the park while the parents watch on a video screen. Terrifying!
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