Odes to a Trojan

by , posted on September 3rd, 2010 in Red Writing Hood




Okay, listen. I don’t know why I have two consecutive posts that somewhat have to do with sex. Really. I never write about this stuff. Well, sometimes I do, but not usually back-to-back. Or front-to-front, as the case may be. Whatever.

Today’s post is for The Red Writing Hood and is based on this prompt that Ericka picked probably just to torment me. Because she’s like that. Anyway, it’s to write a poem or prose piece from the perspective of a broken inanimate object. For some reason, my topic is what I thought of immediately.

Why, I do not know. I hate them. Ick. And that is why I have a third child.

The end.

I kid, I kid.

So here, for your reading pleasure (?), is a haiku and a prose piece.

Oh Shit!

The latex gripped tight.

But the sticky fluid seeped

From the very tip.

————————————

The Ones that Got Away

Tossed out of the window

as the car sped into the night.

Landing in the gutter

that led to the ocean.

Used.

Breathless moans

hot

hot

and then

rudely yanked off

thrown out like garbage

and yet

still full of life

except

for the the ones that got away.

In their haste

the two in the car

didn’t notice

the small hole

through which

they would now

always

be connected.

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47 Responses to “Odes to a Trojan”

  1. Corinne Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Where is your mind, lady? :) Gutter gutter gutter!
    In a good way though.
    I think it’s challenging to write about sex, and all that goes with it. Well done!
    Corinne recently posted..Its here

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    I know! I have no idea what my problem is!

    [Reply]


  2. Ratz Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 9:48 am

    OMG Cheryl… I think this one is the best piece.. Well done!!! What a write!
    Ratz recently posted..Slamming That Damn Book

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Thanks – much appreciated!

    [Reply]


  3. Leslie Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:00 am

    See Cheryl, my first thought at that prompt was a broken toy. Get your mind out of the gutter!!!! ;-) Seriously, you’re cracking me up with these!

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Broken toys are too “Toy Story,” though, you know?

    [Reply]


  4. HisBell Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:12 am

    Ha! (you made me blush!) Love it… I echo the rest… Well done!!
    HisBell recently posted..J-J-J-Jaded

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    A blush! That’s awesome! ;)

    [Reply]


  5. Sara Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Fantastic and naughty and a little dirty and I’m smitten!
    Sara recently posted..I love that its him- but I wish it was me

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Hee! It was fun to write!

    [Reply]


  6. Aging Mommy Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:22 am

    Hmmm…. definitely a one track mind these last few days :-) It is always good to challenge yourself and write about something totally different and as Corinne says to challenge yourself to write about sex in particular.

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    It’s funny, though, because I didn’t mean to write about sex, it just kind of happened. ;)

    [Reply]


  7. Betsy Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:39 am

    Wow! I wouldn’t of thought poetry about used condoms could be so loverly.

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    I think pretty much anything can be written about. Maybe I should try Ode to Poop?

    [Reply]


  8. TheKitchenWitch Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 10:47 am

    I am giggling like a 14-year old! I love your dirty mind.

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Why, thank you!

    [Reply]


  9. dawn Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 11:19 am

    A big thank you for your encouraging comment on my blog.
    And, I feel for the young couple above… and even feel a little sorry for the poor ‘inanimate object’ so hastily, and callously, tossed aside.
    dawn recently posted..Who Inspires You I mean Me

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Yes, the poor, poor condom. Used and abused. ;)

    [Reply]


  10. Kirsten Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    ok, you? make me laugh.

    and the second one is awesome writing. Awesome writing about a broken condom. that is all.
    Kirsten recently posted..Recognition

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    I am here to entertain.

    [Reply]


  11. Carrie Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    ROFLMAO. A co-worker of mine is big on doing hiakus. She’d LOVE that first one!
    Carrie recently posted..Red Writing Hood- The Lamp

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    It’s my first haiku. I think I am going to do more. They’re addicting!

    [Reply]


  12. Jennifer K. Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    And… That’s EXACTLY why I’m recovering from childbirth and holding my little girl.

    Who knew there is really a 20% failure rate with those little warriors?

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    HA! But now you have beautiful Scarlet…

    [Reply]


  13. Nancy C Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    Oh, I love it. The last line of #2 is brilliant.
    Nancy C recently posted..Chrysanthemums

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Aw, thanks!

    [Reply]


  14. The Drama Mama Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    I’m doing a drive by but I will be back, promise. I’ve got an award for you!
    The Drama Mama recently posted..Playing Catch up Blog Awards and Apologies

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Woohoo! Thank you!

    [Reply]


  15. Florida Girl Meets the Midwest Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    Uh-oh. There is nothing worse than a condom with a hole in it.

    There was another great post about a dildo–so you are not alone.

    Stopping by from red dress club.

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Yeah. It can only lead to no good. Or really good, depending upon the person ;)

    [Reply]


  16. joann Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    oh Cheryl, you take me back to high school, where the boys would get free condoms and hide them in my car, in my books, etc. I thought I got rid of them, but one day I saw my dad looking quite ill, and he walked up to me with this FACE and held out a condom and said, “What is this? This was in your geometry book.”

    Imagine his relief when I explained the whole thing.

    He wasn’t really relieved, he was mortified.

    That’s the only condom story I can give you. Your haiku is gross. I think you have a future in men’s restrooms.

    Oh my gosh is it okay that I tease you so much? I am totally messing with you. Well, it was gross…but doesn’t that mean I can tease you?
    joann recently posted..Sushi and Wat

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    how funny is that?? Those crazy kids! And oh – tease away. I can take it! ;)

    [Reply]


  17. Sandra Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    You are so gifted.
    And now I feel grateful that my years of reckless adolescent sex didn’t connect me for life to one of the many adolescent boys…

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    yes, that would’ve been very, very bad. Some guys you just want to leave in adolescence.

    [Reply]


  18. Amy Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 8:09 pm

    WaaaWhoooo! Look at the life you are bringing out of us!

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Hee! I try!

    [Reply]


  19. Sarah Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 8:32 pm

    Ha! I loved both of these!

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Thanks, Sarah!

    [Reply]


  20. ericka @ alabaster cow Says:

    September 3rd, 2010 at 8:59 pm

    i am so rubbing off on you. and torturing you at the same time. i’ve done my job.

    love the description. my heart is breaking for the condom.
    ericka @ alabaster cow recently posted..lindsey lays it all out there

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Yes. To both. ;)

    [Reply]


  21. ash Says:

    September 4th, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Oh my word, I’m totally giggling, yet still somewhat sad for all the little swimmers so rudely thrown away.

    Poor dudes.
    ash recently posted..“Where’s Tom Hanks”

    [Reply]


  22. Cheryl Says:

    September 4th, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    Yes, left to die alone in some gutter. Oh the humanity!

    [Reply]


  23. Kellie Says:

    September 4th, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    :) Awesome!

    [Reply]

    Cheryl Reply:

    Thanks Kellie!

    [Reply]


  24. angela Says:

    September 6th, 2010 at 9:10 pm

    Funny! Terrifying for those of us relying on those dreaded pieces of latex to keep our family size in check. Time to make an appointment for the hubs…
    angela recently posted..Work in Progress

    [Reply]


  25. CDG Says:

    April 14th, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    Woman, where were you all my life?
    CDG recently posted..Happy Birthday to Me! Happy Bookday for You

    [Reply]


  26. Kir Says:

    April 14th, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    I loved the last two lines of the 2nd one. Always conneted..perfect prose.

    [Reply]


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