My husband is wide awake, thanks!

by Cheryl, posted on June 19th, 2011 in Parenting

A former colleague of mine who is a very talented writer posted this article, “Dads, wake the hell up”, on CNN.com.

The premise is for men to start taking an active role in bringing up their kids.

It made me giggle.

I mean, really? I guess there actually ARE men out there who’d rather do just about anything than hang out with their kids.

I’m just not married to one of them.

I didn’t change a single diaper for the first week of Sawyer’s life.

All of our kids have seen Lowe’s from the Baby Bjorn strapped to their father on solo trips.

Weekends do not pass without at least one adventure led by Daddy.

I cannot imagine having children with someone who’d prefer to golf, who’d consider being alone with the kids babysitting instead of parenting, who would say “no” to spontaneous trail hikes to look for insects and trips to the aquarium and jaunts to the mountains to see snow and making lunch or dinner so I can escape for an hour or two or answering the call for a middle-of-the-night snuggle with a five year-old.

My husband is not perfect. But he is perfect for our family.

I am thankful every day for the love he gives our children. It is the greatest gift he could give them – and me.

Happy Father’s Day, David. I couldn’t do this without you. I wouldn’t want to.

Tags: father's day, Jeff Pearlman, my husband does not need a wakeup call

Comments

51 Responses to “My husband is wide awake, thanks!”

Alison@Mama Wants This Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:28 am

What a great tribute to your husband, Cheryl. He does sound like an awesome father.

Happy Father’s Day to him!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Gratitude 5

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Thank you – he definitely is!!

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Jessica Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 6:46 am

Such a sweet tribute Cheryl, my husband is the same way. What lucky children we have!
Jessica recently posted..She Did It

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Lucky, indeed!

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angela Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 7:35 am

Cute picture

Your kids are very lucky, and I’m thankful that my husband enjoys being involved as well. (The “oh, my husband’s babysitting” comment drives me a little batty when I hear it!)
angela recently posted..Dont They Already Have Animals

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:46 pm
I know – how can you babysit your own child? So annoying!

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Caroline Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 7:42 am

My husband is wide awake too! I love the help!! This is a great tribute to your kids’ Daddy on Father’s Day.
Caroline recently posted..A Study of Kindness in Pictures

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:46 pm
So glad to hear that!!

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Kim Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 7:50 am

Such a simple, honest statement. Love it.

I feel lucky every time I hear another woman say she can’t do xyz because her husband can’t be alone with the kids, or put them to bed, or whatever. I feel lucky when i hear him say “I’m not babysitting, they’re my KIDS” or when he refuses to stop letting our 4yo slide down his knees onto his belly, basically painfully sucker-punching his gut with her head every night before bed because it makes her laugh so hard. Or that within minutes of getting home from a 12-hour day, he’s outside with our 6yo playing baseball in the yard.

Happy Father’s Day to us!
Kim recently posted..Happy Father’s Day- I PROMISE They Are Both Your Kids

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:48 pm
I know… It’s really sad. My husband travels a lot but he’s always in a hurry to get home to see the kids. Your husband sounds fantastic. And yes, Happy Father’s Day to us!!

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jen Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 8:20 am

What a great picture, and what a beautiful family. Hubby sounds like a gem! I think men from our generation have a different attitude about fathering than my fathers generation,Daddy didn’t do diapers.

My husband, like yours was right in there with all the parenting; they’re a blessing aren’t they? I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be a woman whose husband wasn’t that way.

Blessings to your hubby today; may his day be filled with love and happiness.
jen recently posted..and the competition is on!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:49 pm
I think you’re right: I think each generation gets more progressive in terms of what’s expected from them as fathers. I know my kids have a great example of how important an involved father is!

I also hope your husband’s day was full of joy!

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C.mom Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 8:21 am

Such a great tribute! My ex-husband, though very involved with Principessa, has not quite figured all of this out yet. His repertoire has grown significantly since we got divorced, but i hope that he learns to see the value in being a part of school things, doing more outside of the house on weekends, and taking trips- even day ones, together.
C.mom recently posted..Rockin the Bump

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:50 pm
I hope your ex-husband does, too, especially since he doesn’t see her every day. It will mean the world to your daughter.

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Wendy Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 9:08 am

Great post! My husband is wide awake as was my Dad (though my mom does liketo say he probably didn’t change diapers).
Wendy recently posted..Happy Birthday Baby Cakes!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Hee! I’ll have to ask my mother if my father ever changed diapers!

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Theresa Sonoda Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 10:00 am

You guys are awesome! Have a beautiful day!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Thank you so much!! xo

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Nicki Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 10:54 am

Beautiful post! Hope your kids are spoiling their wonderful father today!!
Nicki recently posted..Rainy Day Blues

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:51 pm
Thank you – the kids were actually pretty good, especially when they got to go to the beach!

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cynthia at the daily basics Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:24 am

Ditto- my kids are in their late teens/early twenties. My husband has been my partner in raising them and it totally pays off. Our three kids are family oriented, the boys share my husbands interests and my daughter dotes on him. Glad to see your husband doing the same!
cynthia at the daily basics recently posted..Week-end Reading Suggestions – Americans in Paris or Martha’s Vineyard

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:52 pm
So glad to know it pays off. I’m sure your sons will make great fathers someday, too!

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Evonne Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:46 am

What a beautiful family you have!

Sadly I know families where the father is not involved. I’m glad you’re not with one of those men. I’m not either. Happy Father’s Day to your husband!
Evonne recently posted..What doesnt kill me

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:53 pm
Yes, SO glad, and I’m glad you’re also not married to one of “those.” I couldn’t even imagine it.

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Amy Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 12:53 pm

These are the kind of husbands and fathers everyone should have! We are very lucky.
Amy recently posted..the dad life

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:53 pm
We are. We so are.

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Kimberly Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 1:00 pm

Perfect for this family…awesome line.
Kimberly recently posted..Secret Mommy-hood Confession Saturday

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Thanks, babe! Hope your hubs had a lovely day!

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julie gardner Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 1:20 pm

A to the Men.

(and also amen.)

xoxo
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me lessoned

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Hee! A to the Men. Love it!

xo

Also, did you get my DM?

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Scarlett Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 2:46 pm

What a loving and beautiful tribute to your husband and father of your children! And such gorgeous photos of your family, too.
Scarlett recently posted..Sunday Confessions- Inside my Purse

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:54 pm
Thank you so much! He is very deserving.

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Jen Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 3:06 pm

My husband is a totaly involved Dad and I love it and so do my kids.

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:55 pm
He’d better be involved. Otherwise you would beat his butt, and that would NOT be pretty.

xo

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anna ~ random handprints Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 9:09 pm

happy father’s day! what a great post, and i love the D-A-D photos!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:55 pm
Thanks! The DAD picture I did for the first time last year, and I plan to do it every year for him!

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Lady goo goo gaga Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 10:59 pm

Well said!! I feel the same way about my husband, I could never be married to someone who is not an active participant!!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:56 pm
I couldn’t either. I can’t imagine it. Not at all.

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Heather H Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

What a great tribute to your husband! Very beautiful!

Love the picture!

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:58 pm
Thank you! He is very, very deserving..

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Jessica Says:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Happy father’s day to your husband. He sounds like a great dad.

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Cheryl Reply:
June 19th, 2011 at 11:59 pm
He truly is a great dad. A really, really great dad.

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Varda (SquashedMom) Says:
June 20th, 2011 at 12:33 am

Cheryl, what great pictures, your family is just so lovely.

I read that CNN article. I cried. My husband is one of THOSE men. He considers spending time with his children to be a little less desirable than a trip to the dentist for a root canal. He really dislikes children, including his own. He loves them in a vague, abstract way, but has no intimacy with them, does not know who they are.

Ironically, he DID change diapers. When they were babies and their needs were purely physical and very simple he was able to be more there. As they have become more and more complicated and emotional, he has checked more and more out. Jake’s autism freaks him out completely, and he does not know how to connect with him at all.

This is the largest source of pain in my life. And I can’t write about it on my blog. He and some members of his family read my blog. SO I drop these little truth bombs into comments on my friends’ blogs. Like yours.

When I read moving posts, like yours, about wonderful fathers I am so happy for those families, but I weep for mine, and for what my sons are missing.

What my husband wanted from us for Fathers Day was to basically leave him the hell alone. So we did. He met us & suffered through a quick diner “Fathers Day” dinner with tired, restless, cranky kids, and then went right back to work. And so it goes…
Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted..Fatherless Fathers Day- Year 2

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Kir Says:
June 20th, 2011 at 7:40 am

What a fantastic tribute to your hubby! I have a husband who is also very awake, who does MORE than his fair share of parenting, who is so happy to be a daddy it makes my heart ache with joy.

Plus the pictures are perfection, what a gorgeous family you have. Xo

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Sherri Says:
June 20th, 2011 at 1:10 pm

What a sweet Father’s Day tribute!
Sherri recently posted..If You Give a Dad a Daughter

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Kenna Ray Says:
June 20th, 2011 at 5:12 pm

In some ways I blame the women as well for these men who are “sleeping” fathers. I mean the women have to take care of everything to allow that to happen, right? I bet the fathers would be more engaged if the mothers refused to allow them to just sit around being one of the kids. Is that too harsh?

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Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri Says:
June 20th, 2011 at 6:07 pm

Lovely lovely tribute to your husband Cheryl. Hope you and yours had a great time on Father’s Day.
Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri recently posted..An Ordinary Father’s Day

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Alexandra Says:
June 21st, 2011 at 1:49 am

My gosh, I thought your kids looked like you, until I saw your husband.

Yup.

They’re his.
Alexandra recently posted..Things Dont Happen By Magic

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Jack@TheJackB Says:
June 21st, 2011 at 3:29 am

I was offended by that article because it touched upon too many stereotypes. It was far too 1950s for my taste.

I don’t know any fathers who are even close to what he described. We all had things that we didn’t like doing, but they got done.

That is not to say that there aren’t men who fit the characterization he provided but….
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Dancing Didn’t Make Him Charming

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Kristin @ What She Said Says:
June 21st, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Ah, this is awesome. You got yourself a good one!
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Talking the Talk

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Amanda Gordon Says:
July 26th, 2011 at 7:54 am

First off, cograts on having a great husband!

I think sometimes the media goes to extremes in portraying the stereotype. After all making the opinion more angular helps in attracting more readers. I am willing to bet that fathers are much more involved in the process of raising the kids than is portrayed in that article.
Amanda Gordon recently posted..Bagless Vacuum Cleaners

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