Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
No pose for the camera
Thursday, February 2nd, 2012
There is not one photo that captures the essence of me. At least, I couldn’t find one.
I did find plenty of shots where I’m clearly trying to pose just so: hand on my hip, body tilted sideways, chin up so I don’t have jowls. And that is me, self-conscious and certain I don’t photograph well.
But the picture I chose is one of my absolute favorites. I obviously did not know my husband was taking pictures of me as I sat with my baby and I love that there is nothing posed about me at all.
What I really love about this shot is that how I feel about this child is written all over my face. I hope he – and all my kids – know how very much they are loved.
This post is for Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop.
Tags: candid photos, love, mama kat's writing workshop, toddler
Posted in Just me, Mama Kat's Writing Workshop, Parenting | 21 Comments »
Small things bring joy when big things are unspeakable
Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
There were two news stories today that were both horrible, each in its own way. You can read about the decision by the Susan G Komen For the Cure foundation that will likely directly result in women dying, here and here. Or the unspeakable crimes against children perpetrated by a man who taught for 30 years at a school in Los Angeles, here.
And so, after dinner, during which I wore David out on my absolute disgust with Susan G Komen for the Cure, how I will never give them another dime, how last time I checked abortion was legal in America and whether or not you agree with it, putting womens health at risk because of someone’s religious agenda was appalling, and besides that’s only a fraction of what Planned Parenthood does, I was glad to have a funny little toddler to lighten the mood.
(By the way? Bless my husband’s heart. He listened. He agreed. I decided to keep him.)
Anyway. There is nothing more hysterical, when you are not quite three, then being naked. NAKED!
And our little daredevil celebrated the moment by doing some extreme tricycling. NAKED!
He’s going to be great fun at parties when he’s in college.
Tags: child molester teacher, mark berndt, planned parenthood, small things bring joy, susan g komen
Posted in Just me, Parenting | 39 Comments »
Baby envy
Monday, January 9th, 2012
I went to a baby shower for my dear friend Wendy this weekend.
She looked gorgeous, all sweaty glowing and happy and preggo. She *might* have been wiping down her thighs with Kleenex when I arrived. I was just relieved her water hadn’t broken.
The house was packed with women. There were four long tables filled with friends and family. This was, I believe, her fourth of five showers. Maybe they’ll be more. It’s not surprising; Wendy is one of the kindest, funniest, most genuinely nice people I know. And anyone who has met her will feel that light that comes from within her.
Wendy and her husband, Wes, went through three years of infertility before in vitro gave them their soon-to-be baby girl, Whitney. It was definitely something to celebrate. So I took a seat at the table in between her birth mother and her mother-in-law and diagonally across from Wendy’s mom. We ate and we chatted and we laughed.
And then it was time to open gifts. We settled in. This was going to take awhile. The gift bags and brightly-wrapped packages lined up like planes on the runway at LAX.
We oohed and aahed at adorable, miniature pink onesies with tutus, mary jane tights, crocheted hats and unbelievably soft blankets, pants with a cupcake on the butt. All that sweet, sweet baby girl stuff.
I thought I’d feel a pang. A longing for the days when my own daughter was wearing sun bonnets and footie pajamas and rompers that showed off her bakery-roll thighs.
But I didn’t.
I didn’t.
I had not one moment of baby envy. Of wishing back those hazy newborn days.
Maybe it’s because I still have a baby. Well, he’s a toddler, but he still likes to be carried and he has no interest in using anything other than his diapers to do his business.
Or, possibly, it’s the knowledge that I’m done. D-O-N-E. I am not yet nostaligic, and, in fact, had a bit of a love-hate relationship with babyhood – which happens when you’re dealing with breastmilk allergy and colic and two under two and then three that are five and under. I am aware this might change as my kids move into their teens, and, someday (hopefully) out of our house and into lives of their own.
I am sure I will remember the early-morning nursing of a warm-from-sleep, sighing baby, or the big gummy smiles and belly laughs, or the way their heads smelled like warm toast, and want to disappear into them for awhile.
But this day? I could sit and relax and giggle over the gift that came – accidentally – with a dirty, little boy’s sock tangled in the tissue paper. I watched Wendy gently hold each outfit and I’m sure she could imagine her baby girl in them one day soon.
My time for that is over. And I am not sad.
How about you? Are you done, and if so, when did you know it for sure?
Tags: baby envy, baby shower, how you know you're done having kids
Posted in Just me, Parenting | 44 Comments »
Wordless Wednesday – Surf and sand
Wednesday, January 4th, 2012
Maybe I’m just an ass.
Whenever East Coasters start complaining about how cold it is, I like to post a picture of the beach. In January.
The truth is, I’d trade spots with you all in a heartbeat, to live back in my homeland. Even if it meant freezing my tuchus off. But since I can’t, since I’m stuck here behind the Orange Curtain, I might as well enjoy the sun.
Right?
Hope this warms you, wherever you are.
Tags: beach in January, Laguna Beach, montage beach, Wordless Wednesday
Posted in Just me, Parenting, Wordless Wednesday | 32 Comments »
The one left behind
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2012
He’s gotten a pancake and an ice cream cone and tortilla chips and a cookie.
It stills the sound, for just a few moments.
Grief is a tough thing for humans to wrap their heads around. Even when a death is unbelievable, at least we know, at the core of us, our loved one is not coming back to us.
There is no way to explain this to a dog. You cannot sit him down and tell him his best friend, his sister from another mother, his pack member who he’d chased and barked with and slept next to for 10 1/2 years, is gone.
And so he cries. He asks to go out to the back yard where they’d sun themselves for hours, and he looks for her. He lies down on the warm pavers and whines. He comes back in the house and wanders. He looks at us and cries.
It is about as heartbreaking to watch him now as it was to lose Garbo. There is nothing we can do, other than love him and give him treats and let him climb on the couch with us and give him extra scratches behind his ears.
We decided to take him to the beach Monday. He used to love it, although once the human babies outnumbered our furry ones, he spent much more time at home than anywhere else. We packed him into the back of our SUV and took him to the ocean. I walked him along the sand but he cried and panted and kept looking back at me. And then he lied down inside our tent. His body shook with nerves and we were sad the change of scenery didn’t soothe him, only left him insecure and lost without his buddy.
Eventually he walked around the kids and sniffed other people and his ears perked up when he spotted the seagulls and pelicans.
But we thought he really just wanted to go home.
And as I write this, he’s lying in a huge hole Garbo dug years ago, under the bushes on the slope on the side of our house.
The loss is just too much for our old guy. It’s just too much.
Tags: death of a pet, grieving of a dog, pack animal
Posted in Just me, Parenting | 24 Comments »
