Are we mom enough?
The cover of Time Magazine this week features a mother, Jamie Lynn Grumet, from Los Angeles. She is model-pretty and model-thin, posing with her hand on her hip in a simple tank top, jeans and ballet flats. Standing next to her on a chair is her three year-old son.
He is looking at the camera. And nursing.
Cue inevitable shitstorm.
The intentionally provocative title: Are You Mom Enough?
We don’t need a magazine to ask us the question every. single. one. of us. asks ourselves from the moment our babies come squawking into the world.
We do our best. And that has to be enough.
But of course women will different opinions; women who will look at this photo and judge (we’ll ignore the men who will sexualize this, okay?). They will ask what type of mother would nurse a child who looks ready for kindergarten (he’s not, the mother is actually very short), who would pose in such a defiant manner.
I don’t particularly like the photo. I find the shot to be cold and not at all warm or nurturing, which I’m sure is the relationship attachment parenting advocates would hope to portray. My guess is Jamie Lynne doesn’t normally nurse her child in this manner. The photographer, Martin Schoeller, said he chose to shoot the pose to “underline the point that this was an uncommon situation.”
Editors chose if for the cover, I’m sure, for the shock value. Which they accomplished.
The Twitter was all atwitter, of course, as the cover trended. Before 10 a.m. on the West Coast you could see the cover on GoodDay LA and The View. Nightline tonight.
Everyone has an opinion. Especially women.
Here’s the thing. I did not attachment parent. Because that was my personal choice. Just like the woman on the front of Time (in full disclosure, I have never met her, but she is a member of Moms LA, a group of which I’m also a member).
I saw a ridiculous tweet about explaining to your kids if they see the perceived salacious cover at the grocery store. Please. How about “She’s nursing her child.”
Women love to put their judgypants on. Especially with something that makes them uncomfortable. My wish is we could simply support each other’s parenting choices, specifically the ones that do not affect us or our children. The so-called Mommy Wars are silly, spurred on by covers such as Time. I’d like to say women – mothers – are above this. Most are. But not all.
Attachment parenting not your thing? Awesome. Attachment parenting your thing? Awesome.
We all make the best choices we can for our family, even if they are not the same choices as other mothers. It doesn’t make anyone wrong. We are all different. Our kids are all different.
Are we mom enough?
You bet your ass we are.
All of us.