10 things not to ask your spouse
by Cheryl, posted on October 13th, 2011 in Mama Kat's Writing Workshop
Things you should never ask your husband:
1. This is obvious, but, “Do I look fat?” First of all, he’s not going to tell you the truth. Unless he’s an idiot. Second, even if he says you look as thin as a popsicle stick, you will then ask him what’s THAT supposed to mean? Is it because you had three Dove bars the night before?
2. “Which black shoes look better?” Don’t even bother. To him, they all look the same. He will pick one just to play along, and then you’ll spend the next 20 minutes telling him why he’s wrong, making you late to wherever you were going.
3. “Don’t you already have a pair of black shoes?” Why yes. Yes I do. And just for that, I’m going to by seventy-eleven more.
4. “Can you babysit the kids?” Since he’s not a babysitter. He’s the father. Just tell him he’s watching them, then leave. Easy peasy. (In full disclosure, my husband has never used the term “babysitting” but I’ve heard it out of the mouths of other dads – and moms. The eff?)
5. “Can you pick up a couple things at the grocery store?” He will come home with bags full of Lucky Charms, lemon snap cookies, coffee heath bar crunch ice cream and black bean and garlic Tostitos. And will likely not have remembered the oatmeal or orange juice. Or that jumbo bag of mellowcreme pumpkins you asked for.
Things a husband should never ask his wife:
1. “How long have you been on that computer?” The answer will be, I will stay on it until you’re sound asleep.
2. “What did you do all day?” Self-explanatory.
3. “Why do you load the dishwasher that way?” Congrats. You have just gotten yourself a new permanent job.
4. “Can you pop that zit on my back?” That would be N to the O. Also, good night.
5. “Why are you always so tired at night?” Self-explanatory.
Tags: 10 things never to say to your spouse, mama kat's writing workshop, you can never have enough black shoes
DebbieLB Says:
